My experience report from an orgasmic online coaching
When I agreed to take part in Orgasmic Woman’s self-love coaching, I had no idea what self-love coaching looked like. It was said that you should practice self-love every day, explore and develop your own sensuality and lust – just take time for yourself. I mean why not, right?
I don’t know about you, but I had a fairly specific, retrospectively limited idea of the term “self-love”. To me it just sounded like a more socially acceptable word for masturbation.
Every Day Self-Love Practice – More Difficult Than It Sounds
Part of Orgasmic Woman Coaching is to love yourself for at least 15 minutes every day, whatever that means. For this you get various impulses, exercises and inspirations sent to you.
My first challenge wasn’t some complicated physical exercise, overcoming myself, or any insecurities, but these damn, ridiculous 15 minutes.
Part of Orgasmic Woman Coaching is to love yourself for at least 15 minutes every day. For this you get various impulses, exercises and inspirations sent to you.
I always imagine it to be so easy to integrate little things like 15-minute self-love into my everyday life. I know pretty well that I don’t do a lot of 15-minute blocks every day. But then it is not easy for me, even though I actively decide for it and really want to create a place for it in my life.
Well, a bit proud (hey, it’s the little things) I can report that most days I dutifully set my timer, sat there and started breathing exercises, one hand on my heart, the other on my vulva to be relatively zen-like in the here and now – but the great revelation did not materialize for the time being.
A little proud I can report that most days I dutifully set my timer, sat there and started breathing exercises, one hand on my heart, the other on my vulva, being relatively zen-like in the here and now – the big one But there was no revelation for the time being.
In the beginning it is really weird to want to call up sexuality and sensuality at the push of a button, like a kind of creepy homework – which I have never done and copying is unfortunately not included here either.
What can I say? I learned (surprise) that I am not suddenly super sensual and sexy just because I decide to. On some days, my self-love session had the character of meditation: It was nice to relax, to touch and to feel myself, but the whole thing ended more in a long nap than in hot solo sex.
On some days, my self-love session had the character of meditation: It was nice to relax, to touch and to feel myself, but the whole thing ended more in a long nap than in hot solo sex.
On other days it was just strange and I sat there, a little bored and in awkward silence, wondering what I was actually doing and waited until the timer had run out.
Sounds like a strange self-experiment that tends to fail? Absolutely not.
Self-love – path or goal?
Self-love is more than just lending a hand, not just limited to our sexual organs. Basically also somehow clear, but in everyday life it is often exactly that: a means to an end, the way to the goal.
Self-love is more than just lending a hand, not just limited to our sexual organs. Basically also somehow clear, but in everyday life it is often exactly that: a means to an end, the way to the goal.
The Orgasmic Woman Coaching invites you to listen better again and not to listen to foreign voices, ideas and ideals, but to listen to yourself and discover or suspect feelings and needs to which you may not (yet) have access at the moment has found.
It is also about breaking through your own possible patterns. Self-love patterns often have their justification and have become patterns precisely because we think they are so cool. But not just letting the patterns of movement and contact rattle off on your own, but understanding them as a resource, connecting with them, modifying them and developing them further can be enormously enriching.
“Orgasmic” does not mean orgasm (contrary to my first interpretation). The orgasm goal is often omnipresent in partner sex as well as in solo sex, the attention is directed to the future and therefore cannot be in the here and now. Kind of a good point, right?
The orgasm goal is often omnipresent in partner sex as well as in solo sex, the attention is directed to the future and therefore cannot be in the here and now.
But back to my naps instead of a sexy me-session: There are probably two states that work together in a wave movement to ensure that we are aroused: Relaxation and tension and, as always, it is very individual which state is easier for us. My first self-love units were characterized by relaxation, letting go and breathing deeply.
However, you can activate your own body and thus also your sensuality through movement such as dancing, swimming or running and well, at some point I didn’t fall asleep.
Sharing is caring – talking to strangers about self-love
A second part of the (group) coaching consists of exchanging ideas with others – to be honest, the part that I would have liked to have done without, in isolation and self-reliance, if it had been voluntary. I mean, do any of you feel like talking to complete strangers about self-love practices, insecurities, challenges and wow moments?
In any case, I didn’t have it, but I really learned to appreciate it in the four weeks of coaching. Vivien and Mara, the two founders of Orgasmic Woman, created a really nice setting in which our small group could talk about the past few days every week.
I was very surprised, but there is a different quality to talking about intimate things to strangers than to people who are familiar.
I was very surprised, but it has a (absolutely existing) quality to talk about intimate things with strangers than with confidants and the exchange with one another has always inspired me into the next week of self-love.
Self-love practice in everyday life
As already mentioned, I personally don’t find it easy to create space for something like a self-love ritual every day, and I’m not sure whether it will be necessary permanently. The fact is, however, that we have to keep exploring new physical paths in order to break through learned patterns and create new paths, if we want to.
The fact is that we have to keep playing on new physical paths in order to break through learned patterns and create new paths if we want to.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s just a curious, excited self-exploration, letting go of associated (psychological and physical) pain, lack of sensitivity or something else.
In the four weeks I noticed how my body feeling and my sensuality (yes, sounds a bit strange, I know, but it’s true) have changed and I believe that it can be enormously enriching to be with yourself over a certain period of time To put body and soul in the foreground, to create space and rituals for it.
I believe that it can be enormously enriching to put your body and soul in the foreground over a certain period of time, to create space and rituals for it.
The whole thing, of course, without any pressure to perform, we probably all know that Lust killer No. 1 is (at least I find it extremely unsexy).
Conclusion on 4 weeks of self-love with Orgasmic Woman
I often had the feeling that I had a lot of tips, ideas and insights before the workshop, that I might also know them, and yet I had by far not integrated all of them into my everyday life.
Realizing what is good for me, what takes me further and gives me strength is not necessarily enough to put these things into practice courageously. Often it fails on strenuous days, a sleepless morning, listlessness or simply because of distraction.
Realizing what is good for me, what takes me further and gives me strength is not necessarily enough to put these things into practice courageously.
The workshop created a framework for me that I would not have taken for myself. It would probably have failed, as is the case with so many exciting projects and potentially brilliant nonsense in my head, simply because of the implementation, because of the regular integration into my everyday life.
Vivien and Maria add absolute value with their work and lead the way with the best example when it comes to self-love, mindful, passionate and open-hearted. If you’re curious, feel free to take a look at Orgasmic Woman.
